i don't want you to think of me as your TA
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
