I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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