the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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