you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
