i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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