i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
