yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
