I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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