May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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