I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
