im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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