even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
