Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
