i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
