when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Randomize
