he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
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