We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
