Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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