from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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