I think scott just propositioned me for sex
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
