im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
