He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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