to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
