YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
