Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
