What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
