Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
