The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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