New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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