So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
