Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
