She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
You did what with his pubic hair?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
