yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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