You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
