I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
