another moral hangover. fuck.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
