I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
