i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
