Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
