yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Randomize
