Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
