It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
