Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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