I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
