So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
