dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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