maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
operation harelip BJ is a go
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
