im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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