Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
