I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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